Thank you

Thank you.

Thank you for always being there, ready to talk, to discuss, to share, to encourage me - even if indirectly - to express myself naturally, lightly, explicitly; which I gratefully used to the full, sparing no efforts, keeping no words back.

Thank you for creating the perfect background for developing my inborn wordiness, my desire to bare the inside of my head, my heart, my soul, to deliver it to you, for I was sure you were the only one to understand, to appreciate, even to admire it, probably.

Thank you for the personality you have, for all those features of yours that always filled me with genuine admiration - for your vast experience in all sorts of spheres concerning both practical and theoretical aspects of this life; for your smartness - not extraordinary, you’re nothing close to a genius, you know - thankfully so! for I'm sure such guys are incredibly boring; no, just a clever man having his head screwed in right you are, is all, which is worth hundreds of geniuses. For your tolerance, in its broad sense - in your being far from accusing others - at least me - of indecent in the eyes of the majority behavior, or mad ideas, or inappropriate comments, or fits of various nature enslaving my mind now and then, or silly jokes, or an absolutely illogical perception of the reality. For your sense of humour - somewhat exquisite, delicate, sharp, ironical, and sarcastic - the things my self holds so dear. For your physical attractiveness which, as little as it means to me, nonetheless contributed to your image immensely. And above all else - for your voice - so deep, so rich in notes, lulling, going straight to my heart, echoing there making me dizzy with emotions.

And thank you for being with me what you really are, for making not the slightest attempt to embellish yourself – indifferent, highly pragmatic, terribly methodical, annoyingly scrupulous about details, loving showing off and pointing others at their mistakes or faults, unbelievably arrogant and of incredibly high opinion about yourself, foreign to any courtesy or care in women's respects, reserved for most of the time and seldom speaking your soul (even though there's awfully much inside), easily irritated, completely devoid of any romantic inclinations (or, rather, just never giving them away, but anyway, the result is the same), completely deaf to the needs of your companions. How was that for a damper, huh?))

Thank you for entering my life and saving me from depression I was about to sink at the time. You brought new light, inspiration, fresh air, when it was most needed, and all this simply can't be overestimated. You overdid with curing, though, - through no fault of yours, sure, you couldn't possibly have known I am the sort of a person who gets carried away very easily, - having turned from a medicine into a drug, a harmful addiction. Harmful because along with happiness and drive that accompanied me all throughout our romance, the feelings I experienced at times were far from being positive, the ones that people normally try to avoid, destructive feelings - pain, desperation, anger, all stemming from infatuation. But I regret nothing. I had emotions, I felt alive, that's the only thing that matters.

Thank you for everything. And most importantly - for giving another proof that virtual and real world have very little in common. It’s all fine. Everything’s fine. And I’m fine too. What a faceless and meaningful word this “fine” is. But there are times when it’s just what’s needed.

When a shield is needed…