Reason

Every single person we come across throughout the course of our life is sent to us for a reason, - either to give an abrupt turn to it or open our eyes to only one particular moment – doesn't matter; what matters is that it's not accidental.

This one seems to be right up my alley. Given my firm belief that nothing happens "just so", for no reason whatsoever, due to a pure coincidence, - I can only wholeheartedly agree with this lady.

Blower's Daughter

This song makes me wild. Wild almost to the point of insanity. Makes me feel how the undefinable something whatever it is - soul, will, mind, or may be the interlacement of the three - at the very first notes all of a sudden starts experiencing excruciating pain being locked inside the body, and yearning to abandon its physical shell – tight, suffocating, enslaving, oppressing - unfolds it gigantic and immensely powerful furry wings at a desperate attempt to drop fetters, to gain freedom, to fly, to live, to breath by itself, as one self-sufficient organism, alien to any earthly burdens.

Three Words

I am nothing close to a writer. It’s just, you know… it happens that life throws you upon something, whether weird and startling you by its unexpectedness or ordinary that you pass by every day but too busy to take notice of, - doesn’t matter, - and this something gives a tremendous shake to what’s been nagging at the back of your consciousness, pulls to the surface what has been roaming about your insides, what you always felt was of vital importance, but what you have never before now been able to express.

For me it was a question I bumped into recently, and I am going to ask this question out, even knowing that at the first sight it might sound not much different from all those meaningless broad generalizations about everything but nothing, applying to everyone but in fact nobody, focused on something seemingly significant but in their essence empty, - of that you-are-what-you-want-to-be or live-for-today-only nature and that there are many more issues worth spending time and mental abilities pondering than such ones. All true, but, please, take a minute, just one minute, read this and first try to answer it for yourself before you keep on reading, - what are the three words you most want to teach your children?

"Imerologio" - a Greek song

Christos Phivios's "Diary"...

It's a marvelous song. Marvelous in its being so very meaningful. Love theme it is seemingly focused on is mostly a shield. A beautiful picture pined onto the surface. Scratching under it, there is so much more...

There is the human soul in there and its eternal never ceasing struggle. The soul longing to find its path - be it tangled, exhausting, dotted with milestones - through the intricacies the Life is weaved from.

Beware the fury of a patient man (John Dryden)

Character, not circumstance, makes the person. (Booker T.Washington)

To BO & Co.

  

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. (Martin Luther King, Jr)

Scientific vs Miraculous

Now I'm going to prone on the stuff which ranks, probably, first on the scale of all those crazy things my head is preoccupied with. Ooooh, how much I love it – um, no, not that - how much I'm obsessed with it!

As a lead-in I have one recent example. There, in the photo. Two cars of the same make, of the same year of production, of the same colour, having the same digits on their plates (!) happen to have their owners living in the same building (!). The owners are absolute strangers, mind you, so there's no chance they could've agreed on getting identical cars or purchasing flats in one and the same place. The thing is I am one of these two, so I would know))

A Russian Song

This one is going to be about a Russian song. It sounds weird even to myself as I am... well, very cautious, as it were, about our music. Most modern songs I simply loathe due to their being either bland and meaningless, or americanized-commercialized, or performed by gays. I don't give a button about gays, let them rub away each other's asses to their hearts' content - I couldn't care less; it's just that the songs I get appealed to mostly fall into two categories – romantic (or sentimentally-melancholically sappy if one wishes) or obscurely intricate and making think (on this, that and the other :-)), and the perception of neither of the two I want to be darkened by erm, equivocal connotations.

So controversial

I get awfully amused listening to my foreign acquaintances sharing their impressions about Russia, and those are especially bright after the first visit, of course. I do have a chance to discuss this now and then - online, or when on trips, or walking new fellow-teachers (native speakers) around places, whatever. 

When saying "amused", I don't in the slightest degree imply any sort of laughing, or getting satisfaction from their bafflement (and oooh, they are baffled, that's for sure:-)), or any other sort of pleasing the devilish side of me (I do have it, don't you?) at their expense, no, nothing of the kind! What I mean is experiencing the genuine, childish somewhat perhaps, enjoyment getting an opportunity to have a look through another person's eyes at the moments that are too natural and familiar for my Russian self to give them any proper thinking.

Thank you

Thank you.

Thank you for always being there, ready to talk, to discuss, to share, to encourage me - even if indirectly - to express myself naturally, lightly, explicitly; which I gratefully used to the full, sparing no efforts, keeping no words back.

Thank you for creating the perfect background for developing my inborn wordiness, my desire to bare the inside of my head, my heart, my soul, to deliver it to you, for I was sure you were the only one to understand, to appreciate, even to admire it, probably.

Curiosity

I'm awfully vexed now, just one huge fury! So I'm going to be harsh – it's a warning, mind you, and I'm being dead serious now!

Who said it? One of ancient Greek guys, I believe. Something like "Public only needs bread and entertainment". Well, "entertainment" is not correct. "Spectacularity" is closer, but I have strong doubts that such a word exists. Well, now it does.

Anyway, only simple straightforward easily apprehensible things that can be served, consumed and digested here and now leaving no trace either in heart or soul or mind. And that never fails to distress and upset me, at times even drive mad.

A new day

I’ve always held that nights are just a waste of time, you know. No, really, when do the brightest ideas (when I say “brightest”, huh :)) fall down on you? At night. What is the best time to realize one’s sexual potential? The nighttime, for sure (stigmatize me all a dull old-fashioned creature, please do! - yes, I am the one). Is there any other period when food tastes better? No way. So why lose those precious and fleet dark hours just sleeping? Seems to be a sacrilege, doesn’t it? All true, but…

Writing

I remember reading something like “people invented language with the only purpose to satisfy their need to complain”. I appreciate and truly love the sarcasm (the thing I feel almost as partial to as French fries) laying behind these words, and yes, it must have been fucking hard for an ancient guy to clumsily carve indistinct signs with a blunt something on a stone wall for days on end every time he felt upset by the number of holes in the animal skin he had got from a neighbor next cave in exchange for 17 pterodactyl’s bones dug out in the backyard the other day, or sad because of breaking up with his hairy girlfriend - “You're so down-to-earth, and don't give a button about my touching poems on migrating boars“ she said, her nose turned up high, taking her grass toothbrush and leaving for her smelly mom's.

Nai, ginetai!

When coming across an interesting thought or idea, my first instinct is to "try it on", dig out from my memory and experience (I'm a big girl, and have accumulated something so far in my life bag pack, - not much, and only a smallest part of it is worth digging in, truly) examples that could either prove or refute it. 

Seeing this one, the first thing that came to mind was Greece, or, rather, the Greek language, to be more exact. That's a long story, not in that it dates many years back, but in its being an eventful one, generously saturated with emotions and passions of all sorts, primarily the ones of sappy heart nature, grrrrr!)) I don't in the least want to go into detail on all that, oh my, no! – just on the linguistic aspect accompanied it.

Well, let's get it started, endaksi?)

Addictions

Now and then I heavily envy people proudly declaring something of the sort “I never drink coffee. I have some firm principles in my life, and one of them is never to get addicted to anything” – one of my penpals’ words.

Well, I guess, it takes a lot of strength, mostly mental, to set oneself rules and to follow them no matter what. This “no matter what” is one of the most ridiculous word combinations ever, the gravest of the gravest exaggeration, come to think of it.

Black Saturday

That's how my son defined this day. After all the tears were poured out, the whole world informed on all the swear words his eager brain has accumulated so far (quite a few, I should say), wounded flesh covered in liters of anti-bacterial stuff (first indignantly refused, of course, in a very high-pitched way, – all the neighbours appreciated the volume, no doubt of that), disturbed nerves smoothed with a dozen of cartoons and twice as many chocolates, - he was able to regain his usual critical thinking and conclude that, yes, “bad days do exist, Mum, yes, it's the law of life” (which made me terribly guilty, till today I've had no idea that my “law of life” philosophy has rooted in my child's head so deeply).

Heart and Imagination

There.

That's encouraging. That's something I wholeheartedly believe. Two things matter only: what your heart orders and where your imagination leads you.

At times they are not even separate, they turn into one, especially if you are one of those freakish ones who get easily sparked off and carried away by some fantasy, something completely out-of-this-world and infeasible, probably, - but what does that matter? – and this unthinkable idea suddenly takes the reins, starts controlling your inwards, ordering heart what to feel and what to rest indifferent towards. That’s not that bad a variant, come to think of it, - at least there’s accordance between your mind and soul, so no great fear you’re going to be all torn apart from the inside.

Quotations

I simply adore quotations. All those innumerable apps offering to enlighten my dimmish brain on the great’s clever ideas seldom pass me by, so those smart folks streamlining them can rest assured they’ll always get a slice of lemon to go with their tequila as long as there are not smart folks like me.

Well, it’s not that I see in them an opportunity to brush up on my mental abilities, to get smarter or more broad-minded (a hateful adjective, by the by, the word “broad” just asks me to use it in “broad shoulders” or “broad avenue”, and I’m not at all sure I want my mind to get that extended; in the light of this “Man’s mind stretched by a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions” by O.W.Holmes sounds threatening, noted, probably should cut down on thinking), or to get some inspiration to put my ass together and go into a daily battle (a good hearty kick is much more effective here), or things of that nature, no.

Me, Scarecrow

We all have our pet hates, don’t we? My top two are cold (all my skinny being trembles at the very idea, not to mention experiencing it) and those white Saint-Petersburg nights (a hellish thing indeed! Like an old granny I’ve been rambling on for ages that the time between dusk and dawn must be dark – the blacker the better – and those whitish-grayish shades are nothing but the direst nature’s perversion).

There is also another thing, though. I find it quite hard to label it with some one word; the closest to what I mean here is probably inertia. It’s not that I hate it, it’s just my ardent aspiration to have as little of it as possible – it goes for both myself and people I share this world with. I'll explain but in the first place, just to be clear - I am ordinary.